04 December 2008

Really? What's the point? NSFW

So, I was just watching some porn. As many of you know my favorite porn is lesbian porn. Why? Cuz dudes just fuck it up. They say something stupid like, "Yeah, who's my little cumslut?!" and "yeah! take it all!" Which is fine and well if the girl is a $5 hooker from the Brewster Projects. But with lezzie porn you get chicks actually getting off, with no dude balls getting in the way of my hard on and in general doing some freaky ass shit to each other.

It's kind of funny cuz there's generally no power struggle, just: you do me, then I'll do her, while she's doing you. However, the altruistic nature of Lesbian porn is not what made me get on here and make this post. Something I saw made me go, "hmm?"

Picture this: Chasey Lain and two other colleagues are in a bath tub. One girl is in the middle going down on the other girl while Chasey sits on the edge of the tub and masturbates. Quick jump edit and girl 1 is on her back and girl 2 has a strap on, ALRIGHT! Then, this is where things get a little pear shaped, she goes ANAL with the strap on. really? REALLY?

What's the point of anal in a lezzie production? It serves no purpose. I mean, anal is generally for the guy. I know, some chicks dig anal. I've dated a couple that do. But I honestly couldn't picture them being with a chick and asking her to go anal with a strap on. It seems counter productive, and really, a lame attempt at trying to grab the anal lovers who just might be watching the lez pron.

Now, I've seen butt plugs and all that shit used, but as the primary source of pleasure, I've never seen strap on anal. No, one exception; I was watching some lezzie Fem Dom porn and she went strap on anal. But, she was dominating her and the girl was tied up with a ball gag in her mouth, she then took out the gag and went ATM on the young submissive. That's the shit you expect from BDSM pron. In this instance it was uncalled for and wholly unappreciated.

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For those of you not in the know, you need to watch the trailer for "black dynomite"

There are two more on this page. the first one is awesome, the second one is lame

17 comments:

Kezza said...

What can I say, you've opened my eyes to the world of those with a licker license. I can't say I'd given much though to what goes where in lesbian porn, now however it will be my all consuming thought for the rest of the day. Maybe the anal was simply done to keep the strap-on happy?

Booya said...

I was going to say the domination thing, but then I kept reading.

Now you have inspired me to write in my blog, haha.

Scooter said...

Well, Black Dynamite sounds like a hell of a film.

"He drives a 5,000 dollar suit and wears a 100 dollar car."

Or something like that.

Joe C said...

http://www.efukt.com/2151_Kung_Fu_Slut.html

http://www.efukt.com/2339_1_Guy_1_Cup.html

You will enjoy both, I think.

Drunken Chud said...

kezza, welcome to the darkside.

booya, i do what i can with i'm given. yet no one has commented that i just wrote a blog right after making paper towel babies. odd.

scooter, if it makes it to wide release, we're there.

joe, the link was broken, i tried searching last night when someone told me of it, and i found it tonight. 1 guy 1 cup is amazing. that guy is the guy you want leading you in a fire. never panics, never falters, just... is. as for the kung fu slut, wow, it's called a razor, use it.

So@24 said...

That's totally safe for work.

Heff said...

Strap on Anal, huh ? Can't say that I've ever viewed any of that. Not that I've L@@KED FOR IT...

Zen Wizard said...

Some good talking points, here: Most of the chicks that are bi- that I have dated said they LOVED a chick's TONGUE up their ass, but nothing else.

A tongue is very pliable and gets the job done with minimal pain.

I have never heard of a lesbo that voluntarily humped another lesbo in the ass with a strap-on.

That is some bullshit male greaseball director's warped fantasy.

Hey, Spielberg of Stroke, just point the camera and catch the hot lesbo's doin' each other cinema verite' style!

Don't mess it up with your OWN warped stroke fantasy, douche!

You are correct that lesbians never say retarded, power trip stuff during the scene and ruin it; e.g., "Tell me you like my cock!"

Especially with a Frog accent that shit really sucks.

Steph said...

Well I don't know about anyone else, but I'm juiced.

Merry Christmas my friend. xx

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

I was scared to click on those links. Thought they might be lezzie anal stap-on links.

Would if one had a strap-on butt, and the other one had a strap-on schlong? That would be totally safe sex, right?

Drunken Chud said...

So, i think so. but then again i work at a pizza place where even the girls profess their love of porn.

Heff, it's all good when you're in a BDSM kinda mood, but in the general course of lesbian events... not so cool. now fisting...

Zen, EXACTLY! it's the male director's fantasy. i think lezzie pron should be directed by women, then you would get the greatest experience ever.

steph, i'm glad i could help babe. and merry belated christmas to you.

ken, none of the links were lezzie strap on anal. strap on butt you say? go on?

JerseySjov said...

heyo since you always leave pretty good comments on the gancer i decided that i'd read your stuff. a lot was lost on me since my computer doesn't allow me to watch videos anymore [sign from above to stop wasting my time on porn, maybe?] but i got quite a few good laughs from your stories.
hopefully you might come by my page and comment on a thing or two? there are boobs.

digitalvixon said...

i love it when they make you laugh...

"thats right. suck your principle's cock. yeah. thats right. You'll learn and you'll graduate... and become a CREDIT TO SOCIETY!"

courtesy of "naughty little nymphos"

when I go up, I wanna write porn scripts.

Mommy Phoenix said...

i just saw 1 guy 1 cup... im scarred for life... omg...

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Jov: Glad that you've discovered Chudly, one of my most consistent blog buddies over the years and a very funny fella.

People, there are boob shots as she says. There are shots of her in her undies for no good reason. It makes you feel like a dirty old man, but she's actually an intelligent writer, so that's why I read. I swear.

So@24 said...

Dear Chasey Lain I wrote to explain, I'm your biggest fan.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Holy crap dude. What have you been up to?