28 August 2007

Why I hate the French…

let me count the ways; First off, nothing original has ever come from France. The French are the BASF of the planet, simply put, they don’t make things, they just make things better… ish. Second off the French have no spirit, no will to live, no honor. Think I’m lying? When was the last time the French won a war? They can’t even beat themselves. Filthy baguette eating smelly mime loving faggots. I don’t use faggot in the derogatory “gay” term… nay, I use it in the much more sinister derogatory “French” term.

What has sent me into such a tizzy about the goddamned surrender monkeys (read: French)? Simply put, I got home from the bar and decided to play a video game that may or may not be named after a famous military style author and his recon team that may or may not be named ghosts and they may or may not be advanced war fighters and this may or may not be the second installment of such a game. So… in trying to find an online game to play in I kept landing in a room that was hosted and populated by Frenchmen. They kept talking in frenchish and I laughed, and taunted. Now, here is where the shit gets fun: instead of starting the game and straight up owning my ass in game, with bullets, they completely kicked my ass out of the lobby for calling them surrender monkeys. Thus furthering my opinion of the frogs as a pampered, hard bread eating, unwashed, hairy, smelly, ‘orriblay aksone avin’, bad film making legion of dullards who couldn’t turn a clever phrase in English if they were paid, prompted, and coached to do so. Oh, thanks for the statue by the way… she looks like a man.

Where was I going with this? I don’t know. But I hate the French. They anger me, and make want to commit homicide. Why? Cuz faggoty cheese, wine and bread isn’t enough to make them interesting. Nay… they are the antithesis of interesting, they are in fact overtly dull and overly pompous. Besides, what is that accent? All other romance languages have decent accents that don’t sound like you have “cock in mouth” syndrome, which is pretty much all I can picture when I hear a Frenchy speak English. Does all this make me Frenchist? You’re goddamn right it does. Fuck those whiney crescent baking soufle’ making gaywads. I guess since I have no clue where I’m going with this all I can say is: fuck the French.