25 October 2006

GCIII says it all. end of argument.

There has been a lot of chatter lately involving Bush and his recent bill The Military Commissions Act of 2006(pdf). People on TV bashing it saying it’s unconstitutional, people on the web saying bush is making a mess of things, people all over saying that it clearly violates the Geneva Convention [sic]. Apparently none of these people have read the Act nor the Geneva Conventions. So, being the good natured guy I am, I’m going to give you all a chance to do both. The above link is a download for a PDF, and here is a link to The Geneva Conventions. Today class we’re concentrating on Geneva Convention Three, or GCIII. This Convention lays out the treatment for prisoners of war. It also clearly outlines what an enemy combatant is. Let’s check it out shall we?

Art. 4. A. Prisoners of war, in the sense of the present Convention, are persons belonging to one of the following categories, who have fallen into the power of the enemy:

…(2) Members of other militias and members of other volunteer corps, including those of organized resistance movements, belonging to a Party to the conflict and operating in or outside their own territory, even if this territory is occupied, provided that such militias or volunteer corps, including such organized resistance movements, fulfil the following conditions:[ (a) that of being commanded by a person responsible for his subordinates; (b) that of having a fixed distinctive sign recognizable at a distance; (c) that of carrying arms openly; (d) that of conducting their operations in accordance with the laws and customs of war.

Interesting… so, let’s say I catch a terrorist, he does not fulfill the above requirements, what should I do with him then O' Convention of wisdom?

Should any doubt arise as to whether persons, having committed a belligerent act and having fallen into the hands of the enemy, belong to any of the categories enumerated in Article 4, such persons shall enjoy the protection of the present Convention until such time as their status has been determined by a competent tribunal.

…Prisoners of war shall continue to have the benefit of such agreements as long as the Convention is applicable to them, except where express provisions to the contrary are contained in the aforesaid or in subsequent agreements, or where more favourable measures have been taken with regard to them by one or other of the Parties to the conflict.

Huh. Well, I guess that about settles it. I mean, the convention says so. So let’s see what this act wants to do shall we?

‘‘§ 948b. Military commissions generally
‘‘(a) PURPOSE.—This chapter establishes procedures governing
the use of military commissions to try alien unlawful enemy combatants
engaged in hostilities against the United States for violations
of the law of war and other offenses triable by military commission.

CHAPTER.—The President is authorized to establish military
commissions under this chapter for offenses triable by military
commission as provided in this chapter.

Odd… what do all these terms mean? Unlawful combatant? Let’s see what the act has to say.

‘‘§ 948a. Definitions
‘‘In this chapter:
‘‘(1) UNLAWFUL ENEMY COMBATANT.—(A) The term ‘unlawful
enemy combatant’ means—
‘‘(i) a person who has engaged in hostilities or who
has purposefully and materially supported hostilities
against the United States or its co-belligerents who is
not a lawful enemy combatant (including a person who
is part of the Taliban, al Qaeda, or associated forces);
‘‘(ii) a person who, before, on, or after the date of
the enactment of the Military Commissions Act of 2006,
has been determined to be an unlawful enemy combatant
by a Combatant Status Review Tribunal or another competent
tribunal established under the authority of the
President or the Secretary of Defense.

‘‘(B) CO-BELLIGERENT.—In this paragraph, the term ‘cobelligerent’,
with respect to the United States, means any State
or armed force joining and directly engaged with the United
States in hostilities or directly supporting hostilities against
a common enemy.

‘‘(2) LAWFUL ENEMY COMBATANT.—The term ‘lawful enemy
combatant’ means a person who is—
‘‘(A) a member of the regular forces of a State party
engaged in hostilities against the United States;
‘‘(B) a member of a militia, volunteer corps, or organized
resistance movement belonging to a State party
engaged in such hostilities, which are under responsible
command, wear a fixed distinctive sign recognizable at
a distance, carry their arms openly, and abide by the
law of war; or
‘‘(C) a member of a regular armed force who professes
allegiance to a government engaged in such hostilities,
but not recognized by the United States.

‘‘(3) ALIEN.—The term ‘alien’ means a person who is not
a citizen of the United States.

‘‘(4) CLASSIFIED INFORMATION.—The term ‘classified
information’ means the following:

‘‘(A) Any information or material that has been determined
by the United States Government pursuant to
statute, Executive order, or regulation to require protection
against unauthorized disclosure for reasons of national

‘‘(B) Any restricted data, as that term is defined in
section 11 y. of the Atomic Energy Act of 1954 (42 U.S.C.

Wow, so Chud, what you’re telling us is that the GCIII is quoted directly in this Act as a term of what a lawful combatant is, and what an unlawful combatant is? And that this act in no way defies the Conventions we hold so dear to our civilized hearts? How can this be? I mean, all the media as awash in the bashing of this act, and President Bush is an evil evil man right? I mean, if this Act isn’t the evil Geneva Conventions defying monster the media made it out to be, what else isn’t true? Well, kiddies, so much more. So, so much more. But that’s for a different class.


22 October 2006

And now for some ultra violence?

Fuck "a clockwork orange"! 

that's all i have to say about that. 

good day.  

09 October 2006

since i have been drinking away my posts, you get a meme!

This is about senior year of high school.

1. Who was your best friend?

Senior year? No one really. The guy who was my best friend left for the army. Though, you’d never know we were best friends what with me trying to snake his girl. Yeah, senior year, I guess Brandon would have been it.

2.What sports did u play?

Nothing for the school. Lots of paintball though.

3. What kind of car did you drive?

’88 ford ranger. The car had ground effects on it. It was so counter to everything I was. I was so metal.

4. It's Friday night, where were you?

Brandon’s house gearing up for a paintball game.

5. Were you a party animal?

Not really.

6. Were you considered a flirt?

Actually, yes.

7. Ever skip school?

Uhh, yeah, pretty much.

8. Were you a nerd?

I liked nerdy things. Like computers, and D&D and magic the gathering. Though I think I was out of the last two by senior year.

9. Were you in any clubs?


10. Did you get suspended/expelled?

Never expelled. Suspended many many times. I think I hold the record for number of times suspended while suspended. I was originally given a 3 day “in school” for smoking (Chud! You rebel!). then I was suspended because the bitch thought I was playing games on my calculator when in fact I was doing homework so she sent me to the office, proceeded to go through my shit and found some highly objectionable prose and short stories I had written. Those got me suspended for an additional 5 days. Finally the next day I caused civil unrest in the suspension (planning?) room for the blatant disregard for my personal possessions the day prior. This earned me another 3 days but all time to be served out of school. Oh such angst! What a rebel!

11. Can you sing the fight song?

Yeah it was a rip off of the UM fight song.

12. Who was your favorite teacher?

Mr. Markiewicz, Mr. Borso or Sgt. Canon. All three were great.

13. Favorite class?

Senior year? Independent reading. I think I burned through half the damn library in that class.

14. What was your school's full name?

Winston Churchill High School

15. School mascot?

A charger. For those of you not in the know, apparently it’s a knight on a horse.

16. Did you go to dances?

Senior year, no. well, I did go to military ball. I think.

17. If you could go back and do it over, would you?

Not at all. I couldn’t wait to be out then and I have no reason to want to do that over again.

18. What do you remember most about graduation?

Wanting it to be over so I could get the fuck outta dodge.

19. Favorite memory of your Senior Year?

Ha. For Radio and TV we had to shoot all the productions that the school put on (ie. dance recitals, fashion shows, plays etc). for one production in particular, I think it was the capa dance senior thingy. Some guy played Angie for a chick named Angie and she danced around. Anyhow, a bunch of us had gone in on a fifth of the captain. So I’m standing between the classroom and the Master control room which is also sort of backstage. I had my pop (coke) opened and emptied to the desired level and began to pour in the captain. As I’m doing so Boone (the teacher) came thundering down the stairs with his coffee in his hand and a pint of something clear that he was pouring into said coffee. We both froze, both caught. He cleared his throat, nonchalantly said, “Mr. Dorton”. I nodded and responded, “Boone”. And off he walked.

20. Did you have a job your senior year?

Yes, but then my dad fired me.

21. Where did you go most often for lunch?

Burger King at Westland Mall. Which I don’t believe is there any longer.

22. What did you do after graduation?

Moved out to the sticks and started working horses and rodeo.

23. Where are most of your classmates?

I honestly don’t know. I haven’t stayed in touch with most of them.

24. Are you going/did you go to your 10-year reunion?

I don’t know. It’ll be this coming year and I really don’t know if I’ll be going.

25. Who was your worst teacher?

Lt. Col. Kuratko. He’s a douche.

26. Who did you date in High School?

You can’t call what I did “dating”. That’s all I’ll say on that topic.

27. Did your life turn out different then you would have expected?

Hrmm… 27, living at home after two failed attempts at college, a real estate career that’s in the shitter, delivering pizzas, unable to commit to anything much less one single job for more than a year. Actually, yeah, a little different than I expected.


06 October 2006


Well, over the past week or so I have had some great ideas for blog posts. These were doosies. I’m talkin’ funny, witty and creative, and those were just the titles. Yet somehow, when I was able to get near a computer I couldn’t seem to remember the slightest detail of what I wanted to post, which is highly upsetting. However, I have formulated a hypothesis about this. A corollary if you will. This theorem states:

“All great ideas founded in one’s own head under great influence of alcohol which are not committed to paper, verbal record, or digital media immediately will be forever lost in the haze of the morning.”

This applies only to great ideas. Shitty ideas and mediocre ideas always seem to stay with you. But the higher functions attained for the great idea, gone for some reason.

You may be wondering what drew me to this conclusion. Yeah, I didn’t think so. But I’ll tell you. Saturday night I was drunkenly making myself laugh with the formulation of a blog post. Then a lot of tequila more and I could barely remember I was house broken. The following Sunday was an all day drinking fest with the lions losing, the tigers losing and the wings winning. And I had some great post about that. However, ten cents per ounce beer specials thwarted me yet again. Damn banditos. Monday night was whiskey and television and I had a great idea about a show or two I wanted to pitch, but the whiskey wouldn’t release me from its grip. Tuesday… oh Tuesday, lot’s of beer at the bar, it was $2.50 23oz domestics. One of my friends was apparently having relations with a waitress, whose boyfriend of 5 years decided to show up and the drama! Oh the drama! But again, forgot it all. Wednesday just wasn’t fair. $3.50 boombas (32 oz) and the tigers were supposed to play game 2. rain delay, but no drunken delay, find out afore mentioned waitress quit due to her and her boy having problems. And again not a word on the blog. Last night was bad. It’s my bowling league night. Which means lots of drinking. We have a game called “one pin”* and things just get ugly. afterwards Joe and I headed out to Walled Lake to see our Smelly Pirate Hooker. She’s a chick who used to bowl on our league but can’t this year due to work. So, we went out to see her. They had a pint special going, and I wasn’t driving so, we had a couple. Came home, and did I, in my partial sobriety, commit word to page? Nope. I tore into my whiskey like it was my job. And that brings me to this morning. Well, now it’s early evening, aren’t I a great procrastinator? So, these are the supporting facts behind Chud’s law of creative influence. You are now informed.

* “one pin” is a drinking game in which you must first establish who in the league is playing. It can be as little as 3 people, or as large as the whole league. Once this is established, everyone purchases their alcohol and proceeds to bowl. Anytime in any frame, on any ball, if you leave one pin, and one pin only, standing you must call out “ONE PIN” for all players to hear. Then, everyone takes a drink. For example, let’s say your first ball in the first frame you knocked down 9 pins, you’d yell “ONE PIN!” and everyone drinks. For you second ball you miss the spare, leaving that same pin up. Again, “ONE PIN!” and drinks are had. If on your first ball you knock down 7, then nothing happens. But if on your second you only get 2 of the remaining 3, then you have left a soldier still standing, and thus “ONE PIN!” When you have 3 -6 teams playing, you can imagine how quickly you can get drunk. Good thing we only play 2 games.

And now some links.

Ever seen the video of the guy who runs from cops and gets run over by a cop in a truck? he's back. 

Fat guys and verbs don't mix. i should know. which is why i never attempt to make jumps between docks.

What idiot thought, "let's tie a rope to a treadmill and tow it behind the car and video tape someone riding it"? god i hope there are more people like him.

Ever wonder what a flock of seagulls can do to a horserace? neither did I. but, now, I wonder why i haven't.

The inside story of the webs 10 most famous websites.

Whorecraft? WTF? uhh... no thanks. NSFW