06 October 2006


Well, over the past week or so I have had some great ideas for blog posts. These were doosies. I’m talkin’ funny, witty and creative, and those were just the titles. Yet somehow, when I was able to get near a computer I couldn’t seem to remember the slightest detail of what I wanted to post, which is highly upsetting. However, I have formulated a hypothesis about this. A corollary if you will. This theorem states:

“All great ideas founded in one’s own head under great influence of alcohol which are not committed to paper, verbal record, or digital media immediately will be forever lost in the haze of the morning.”

This applies only to great ideas. Shitty ideas and mediocre ideas always seem to stay with you. But the higher functions attained for the great idea, gone for some reason.

You may be wondering what drew me to this conclusion. Yeah, I didn’t think so. But I’ll tell you. Saturday night I was drunkenly making myself laugh with the formulation of a blog post. Then a lot of tequila more and I could barely remember I was house broken. The following Sunday was an all day drinking fest with the lions losing, the tigers losing and the wings winning. And I had some great post about that. However, ten cents per ounce beer specials thwarted me yet again. Damn banditos. Monday night was whiskey and television and I had a great idea about a show or two I wanted to pitch, but the whiskey wouldn’t release me from its grip. Tuesday… oh Tuesday, lot’s of beer at the bar, it was $2.50 23oz domestics. One of my friends was apparently having relations with a waitress, whose boyfriend of 5 years decided to show up and the drama! Oh the drama! But again, forgot it all. Wednesday just wasn’t fair. $3.50 boombas (32 oz) and the tigers were supposed to play game 2. rain delay, but no drunken delay, find out afore mentioned waitress quit due to her and her boy having problems. And again not a word on the blog. Last night was bad. It’s my bowling league night. Which means lots of drinking. We have a game called “one pin”* and things just get ugly. afterwards Joe and I headed out to Walled Lake to see our Smelly Pirate Hooker. She’s a chick who used to bowl on our league but can’t this year due to work. So, we went out to see her. They had a pint special going, and I wasn’t driving so, we had a couple. Came home, and did I, in my partial sobriety, commit word to page? Nope. I tore into my whiskey like it was my job. And that brings me to this morning. Well, now it’s early evening, aren’t I a great procrastinator? So, these are the supporting facts behind Chud’s law of creative influence. You are now informed.

* “one pin” is a drinking game in which you must first establish who in the league is playing. It can be as little as 3 people, or as large as the whole league. Once this is established, everyone purchases their alcohol and proceeds to bowl. Anytime in any frame, on any ball, if you leave one pin, and one pin only, standing you must call out “ONE PIN” for all players to hear. Then, everyone takes a drink. For example, let’s say your first ball in the first frame you knocked down 9 pins, you’d yell “ONE PIN!” and everyone drinks. For you second ball you miss the spare, leaving that same pin up. Again, “ONE PIN!” and drinks are had. If on your first ball you knock down 7, then nothing happens. But if on your second you only get 2 of the remaining 3, then you have left a soldier still standing, and thus “ONE PIN!” When you have 3 -6 teams playing, you can imagine how quickly you can get drunk. Good thing we only play 2 games.

And now some links.

Ever seen the video of the guy who runs from cops and gets run over by a cop in a truck? he's back. 

Fat guys and verbs don't mix. i should know. which is why i never attempt to make jumps between docks.

What idiot thought, "let's tie a rope to a treadmill and tow it behind the car and video tape someone riding it"? god i hope there are more people like him.

Ever wonder what a flock of seagulls can do to a horserace? neither did I. but, now, I wonder why i haven't.

The inside story of the webs 10 most famous websites.

Whorecraft? WTF? uhh... no thanks. NSFW


Velvet said...

I've often said, if I EVER drop acid again, I'm turning on that video camera BEFORE I take it. Damn did I come up with some fun ass shit.

Scooter said...

Naked Warcraft Whores is just too weird, yo.

Kristin said...

I love the blank almost as much as posts. You crack me up.

Drunken Chud said...

velvet, i will run fotog for that shit. acid and velvet? gold!

scooter, yes. whorecraft. fear it. embrace it. then shun it.

kristin, i'm glad i crack you up, since you stopped e-mailing me after the wedding. i know, i'm crass. hehehehehehe.