03 March 2008

Hungry eyes

you haven't lived till you've drunkenly pulled off the lift from dirty dancing to the song "hungry eyes" in a packed bar to a standing ovation.

a bit of warning though, every girl who thinks they are sveldt yet who is considerably less than, will try to get you to do the lift with them. i find that saying you have bad shoulders (which i actually do) works out (even if they aren't bothering you). seriously, i'm a big guy, and i've got some brute strength, but the girl i was lifting was small enough that i could get her up to full arm extension with a little help from her, but the other girls wanting to be "baby" for a hot second... shit, i'd have needed the exoskeleton from alien.

however, i will say to any women trying to do said lift, DO NOT JUST TRY TO JUMP UP. seriously, if you just try to jump as high as you can all we as the guy are doing is trying to slow your fall and then lift you against that momentum. this equals failure. you have to seriously try to jump at our foreheads. i mean really try to jump at our foreheads. seriously aim to try to tackle our hairline. then, and only then can we make it look fluid. just a tip. we may be strong, but when you are dead weight, or working counter to physics, it can suck. so, that's my tip.

p.s. nobody puts baby in a corner.

15 comments:

joe said...

So, who did you lift?

For those who exceed the lift weight limit, say you have bad knees, and you really have to lift something that heavy with your knees.

I will not take responsibility if they slap the shit out of you.

Kristin said...

I'd enjoy the visual, but there's no way I'd take a running leap at a man and expect him to hoist me into the air. That would be bad for everyone. And I wear a lot of skirts.

joe said...

Better for the bystanders, Kristin.... Jump! Wear skirts!

Stepho said...

I'm with Kristin, I've learned the hard way that jumping on men in bars usually turns out badly.

Drunken Chud said...

joe, it was this waitress from mitchel's fish market. pretty young thang. total train wreck too.

kristin, that's half the fun, showing eveyone your choice of undies... or lack thereof. ;-)

joe, amen.

well stitches, that's cuz you've never jumped on me in a bar. hehe.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Chudly: We're going to need to see a video of that to believe it. I weigh around 195. Can you do the lift with me?

Drunken Chud said...

sorry ken, my shoulders are bothering me. hehe.

So@24 said...

I think we'd make a great duo Chud. I'm 5'3", 128 lbs

Drunken Chud said...

So, i'll have to find a picture that was recently taken of my and my friend AT. i picked him and sat him on my bicep for the picture. he's pretty much your size... so yeah, we could in fact make a good team.

zen wizard said...

So do you get a discount on tilapia at Mitchells Fish House now?

Drunken Chud said...

you know zen, for as tasty as tilapia is, i'd prefer a discount on koho. but, alas, no, i do not get a discount. yet.

Kezza said...

The grace, the poise... Chud you're making me a little bit moist just thinking about it!

Actually not really, but it'd still be cool to see. Next time you'll have to capture the experience and YouTube the sucker!

Nice work!

Drunken Chud said...

kez, i wish i could say grace and poise were involved, but really it was brute strength and drunkenness. but next time i will video it. i mean, damn i could be a you tube hero.

josh williams said...

I've been doing it all wrong. I've been telling women to jump on my forehead!I need to incorporate the lift into this line.Great tip. Thanks

Steph said...

lmao, you're a dancer too? Well, a lifter anyway.

Happy belated birthday my friend. xxx