So I am slowly emerging from my annual cycle of drunkenness which I call my “hazy shade of winter”. Around this time every year I, for some odd reason, crawl into many many bottles and hide out there for about a month. Destructive? Perhaps. Fun? Oh hell yes. Well, from what I remember anyhow.
So, I got sick Christmas day, and not the brown bottle flu type sick. This was some traveling misery bug that started somewhere in my lungs and then for the next 2 weeks worked its way up and down my head/respiratory system. Come New Year’s Eve I had smoked one cigarette and drank two beers since Christmas Eve/Day respectively.
New Year’s Eve was spent at a bar that I personally think is less than lackluster, however, I had a bunch of friends there and really, anytime you can walk into any bar and know 70% of the people is always a good thing. However, the service sucked, the price was horrible yet I somehow managed to find a purple cowboy hat that was a few sizes too small and thusly rocked it, albeit at a jaunty angle. Cuz, well, that’s how I roll. Also, at the end of the night I was calling competing cab companies to see who would get to the bar first so as to save me a walk. I know not who won, as I left with a lovely woman who had her boyfriend in the backseat. Anyhow, I awoke to some nasty voicemails from some cab companies. Fuck em, they’re a bunch of rip off artists anyhow.
So, I was watching a TV show earlier in which there were statistics about rape, and rape victims. This got my blood boiling. It hits a special place in my brain and makes me want to commit many many interstate crimes which would lead to a federal case in which I’d have to plead long term temporary insanity due to the vile and psychotic act perpetrated on a loved one. The sad thing is, given the circumstances, I’m sure I’d be found not guilty. However, without going into trust defying horrific detail, I got to thinking about things that get me that mad. There are several things that get me doghammering mad, but only two that get me blood boiling mad.
So, now for my list of shit that gets me going:
5. People who vote for a candidate based on their stance on abortion. I’m sorry, but I thought this was decided on by the supreme court… THUS MAKING IT LEGAL PRECEDENT! Hey, asshole, why not vote based on their feelings on Brown v. Board of Education, or better yet, Miranda v. Arizona. They all have the same chance of being overturned as Roe v. Wade.
T4. Underground Comedy Movie/Michael Moore. Both are fake, not worth watching, and chronically over-hyped. You will find yourself yelling “cut!” in the middle of scenes and then crying in your pillow at night for subjecting your eyeballs to the horrors that be. Yeah, this critique works for both the aforementioned movie and the aforementioned rabble rousing neo lib.
3. unions. I think I have covered this one whole heartedly.
And now, for the blood boiling mad makers:
2. When I hear Nickleback’s “never again” I begin to get worked into a fervor. Without divulging any details which could be used against me, let us just say I had a couple of friends who got married. One decided to beat the other till she needed reconstructive surgery. SOMEONE beat him till he was unconscious for a month. With the baseball bat he tried to attack said SOMEONE with. I do not know who SOMEONE is… I only heard of this thirdhand.
1. Any tales of rape. I had a former ex, the previously mentioned loved one in the main post. She was a genius, and a beauty. The two things I needed in a woman. Unfortunately I couldn’t heal her pain, or comprehend it. Eventually she had to do what she had to do, and that didn’t involve me. I still think about her, and I still get insanely mad when I think about what happened to her. She confided in me one day, about the sheer brutality of the event. This was not your normal rape, this involved damn near attempted murder/ assault with intent. One day my good buddy (her ex) had mentioned to me that she was a bit of a tease and most likely brought it on herself. I’m not entirely sure what happened next, though I know I flew into a blind rage and scared the ever loving shit out of him. She later explained to me that she had never told him the details. He never spoke to me again. Her, I miss.