24 December 2007

wtf...

ever have one of those weeks where everytime you think you have some alone time to jerk off you are suddenly interrupted by seemingly important yet unimportant phone calls, people coming through the door, being at work, or dawson's creek? yeah, it's been one of those weeks.

anyhow, that's all i got. the power is back on after a 17 hour shortage, most of the bars in the area were closed tonight so it was a big cluster fuck at the one bar that was open. holy shit, it looked like prime dining time on a friday in that bitch, on a sunday, at 1230am...

for those of you i like, click this link:

great little christmas ditty a capella even.

for those of you i am morally ambivalent to click this link:

ahh science. the true path to... wtf? oh right. zoltan!

if you don't know where you stand with me, then this link is for you:

this might be NSFW. and by might, i mean is.

and for those looking for some holiday cheer:

merry christmas

come to think of it, if you think i like you, only click on the top link. the second pisses me off the more i watch it. Merry Christmas everyone.

19 comments:

Rev said...

Hm. We lost our power, but only for about half an hour, and since I didn't get to bed until 6 yesterday morning, I slept through it.

Go Redford!

Scooter said...

There was a power outage? Huh. I can't remember the last time we lost power. Even that ice storm last year didn't take us off of the grid...

Kristin said...

I think I'm going to go with "you like me" but I checked out the others just in case. Merry Christmas!

sequined said...

Ha, I loooved the a capella Christmas song. Hilarious.

I kind of always envied Jewish people because I like the dreidel song. But I guess we have more songs than they do, so I'd be more jealous if I were Jewish than I am now...

So@24 said...

Your post rings so true. Nothing can cut into shaving the ol' Bishop time than being stuck at your parents' house over Christmas break.

Drunken Chud said...

rev... lucky shit ass bastard.

scoots, this is time number two in 3 weeks. once a month is a low year for us.

kristin that's the right one to go with, but... i'm sorry for the other three.

sequined, i wish i could rock the yarmulke... sort of. i mean, i love bacon so much i don;t think i could go jewish. but that's me.

so... yeah... christmas break... that's it...

Stepho said...

EWWWWWWWW.

zen wizard said...

Speaking of jerking off--and I just love to discuss a subject I actually know something about--every year my boss gives me a gift card to Borders.

So I buy the December issue of Playboy--because, like, it's not for "real money." "Real money" needs to be conserved for important stuff, like "real porn."

I seem to faintly recall that Playboy used to inspire me to jerk off.

The last time this happened was 1982.

What went wrong?

I mean, the December issue has all the Playmates from the whole year.

This year had Adrianne Curry, and I figured since I know she's doin' an old guy, she would give me a chubb.

Didn't happen...

I think part of the problem is that in 1982 I really believed some women looked like the women in Playboy--i.e., with the airbrushing and no stretch marks--when they're naked, and I really believed that women that looked like that "didn't care about looks or money, [they] just liked a man with a good sense of humor." (Like it says in the "Turn-on's.")

The latter delusion was shattered when I accepted a job as the concierge at the Beverly Hills Hotel.

A frequent guest was the late great Henny Youngman.

If anyone in the 20th Century had, "a great sense of humor," it would have been him: the King of the Borscht Belt.

But he always arrived and left alone.

So much for a "great sense of humor..."

Drunken Chud said...

stepho, what are you ewwing?

zen, while you're considerably older than i, the last time that playboy inspired me to whack it was sometime in the early 90's. as for the sense of humor bit, shit... i've had girls tell me all they need is for a guy to "make them laugh". so i make them laugh for a month straight and it turns out they're blowing the guy who treats them like shit and looks like a ken doll. unfortunately with my looks i don't have that luxury anymore.

zen wizard said...

I think if we de-construct the, "I don't care about looks; I just like a man with a great sense of humor"-dictum--in the light most favorable to the dick-tease purporting this dictum--we will find that a grocery sacker at Kroger could rattle off one-liners that would be fit for the Comedy Store all night, and then she would go home and blow another dude.

Whereas, a guy who looks like THIS could say, "Uhh--Do you know where the bathroom is at?? I need to hurl..." and all of a sudden he's "Charmingly refreshing..."

zen wizard said...

Oh--and on "The Origin of the Solar System," that one scientist looks like Superman's dad, so he must be right.

Drunken Chud said...

zen you're right. women are liars and we know this. they are only put here to drive us crazy, get us driven from eden and forcing shame upon us (or paradise and unleashing all manner of bad shit leaving us only with hope, whichever you prefer), and for us to write about constantly because we can never understand them. i have discovered it's not because they are so complex as to not be understood, but because they are so simple we as men cannot begin to grasp what the hell makes them tick, since you know, we stopped thinking like them when we were 7. just sayin.

and don't even get me started on that solar system video. some wannabe scientist/preacher dealing in absolutes about the solar system without having any grasp of what the hell he's talking about... makes me just weep for humanity. that guy, and the loose change assholes, and michael moore can all fuck right off.

Steph said...

No time to interfere with yourself? Oh you poor muffin. I hope the new year is better for you.

The Charming Hedonist said...

oh come on, there's always time for masturbation.

Drunken Chud said...

steph, if that's the ONLY problem i face in the new year, i would consider myself blessed. and i'm not a religious person.

hedo, yes, indeed there is. HOWEVER, when the mood struck, it was not to be. don't you fret none though, i abused myself quite rightously to make up for it.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Happy holidays, big fella.

Laughing through my chardonnay said...

It takes a real man to admit he watches Dawson's Creek.

Happy New Year!

Scooter said...

Post something, damn it.

I'll start leaving Metallica lyrics as comments, damn it.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

I'm going to beat Scooter to it and leave some Metallica lyrics:

"Bass solo take one"

uuuuueeeeggeeagaaa-gaaaaaaaa!!!