22 June 2006

Fred Phelps

I love the Westboro Baptist Church. Yes, I said love. Now let me explain. I hate their message. I find it repugnant to say that you are happy soldiers are dead. In fact one of their messages is "thank god for dead soldiers" and "thank god for 9/11". I've read most of God Hates Fags and God Hates America which, if you can get over how shitty the design and the message, are actually quite inadvertently funny in their hate and misinformation. This is where my love for them comes in. They are 100% pure entertainment. While I think it's shitty they protest Soldier's funerals, the manner in which they do it, and the cocksureness they have in their whackalooniness is so heartwarmingly enjoyable as to piss a brother off, and yet, provide a solid bit of entertainment.

One of the radio stations in the area likes to interview Fred Phelps when he comes to town and that man is pure bile and entertainment. I have never seen nor heard an interview with any of these batshit crazies that didn't break down to the interviewer just going all crusader on the person and the nutjob throwing out some half assed insult and then continuing on with their clearly brainwashed rhetoric. The really funny part is when the interviewers get flabbergasted at the nutsycookoos sheer dismissal of logic/reason/biblical contradictions. It is this brazen display of "pick and choose" rule following and dismissal of the interviewers and their beliefs that truly provide me my entertainment. It’s kinda like watching the Manson girl’s parole hearings.

Now, while they do provide me with a modicum of entertainment would I be sad if they all died a horrible fiery death? Nope. Would I thank god? Nah, freedom of speech is after all, freedom for all. Would I find extremely hilarious if during them chanting "thank god for IEDs" they were suddenly all mortally wounded/maimed/disfigured or otherwise hurt by a roadside bomb? You know I would. in fact, were I consuming any beverage at the time I either saw or heard that announcement, it would be coming out my nose I’d be laughing so hard. Am I a sick man? Yes, yes I am.

Side note: the WBC (westboro baptist church) has less than 100 members, 80% of which are family... how shitty must family gatherings be? "Daddy, can I have a big wheel?" "No son, big wheels are for fags. You don't want to go to hell do you?”

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To all the soldiers and their families, I wish you all the best, and a heartfelt thank you.
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Whackaloon on Hannity and Colmes.

Same nutjob on a different fox show.

18 comments:

Scooter said...

Whack-a-doo, loopty loo!

Well, I suppose any one hateful enough to be happy that a person who volunteered to defend their freedom doesn't really need to be decried.

I mean come on! They're HAPPY that soldiers are dying because of the dirty, dirty, fags. How sad of an existence is that?

Drunken Chud said...

i know. but in a really sick way, it's really goddamn funny that they think they're right.

Kristin said...

People who feel the need to live in compounds scare me. The fact that they are ignorant and mean? Even scarier. Good thing I don't live in Topeka.

Rolligun said...

The group is so disconnected from reality!

I suprised someone else hasn't organizied a mass suicide for them.

Drunken Chud said...

i think that's pretty much a pre-requisite to living in a compound hon. though, i wouldn't mind owning a compound. having vestile virgins swear away all their money to me, then i could kick them out. ha! you're all still virgins and I HAVE ALL YOUR MONEY!!!!!!!

you know rolli, i've been trying to figure out the best way. i still think an IED would work best. see what you can't bring back for me.

Coyote Mike said...

Have you read the Wikipedia article on those idiots? They do the family history, and I think you would find that almost more funny than their current rhetoric of shit. Its hard to imagine someone getting disbarred in so many places, so many times.

Scooter said...

Dude. I am almost totally sure that customs would have something to say about a jerry rigged artillery shell in Rolli's ruck sack.

Steph said...

Fanatics and freaks should all be shipped out to Iraq and dumped in the middle of a desert, surrounded by insurgents.

Drunken Chud said...

yeah, that whole write up is freakin hilarious. whackaloons.

scooter, he's in the army. he travels with live ammunition and an m-16. customs has a metal detecting wand. advantage: rolli.

steph, i like your style. however, then i lose my entertainment.

Jacques Roux said...

Oh, you know how I loves my Hate, but this girl takes a wonderful thing, squats, and leaves a big steaming pile of shit on it. It's enough to make me cry. If I still had tear ducts, that is.

I wouldn't even skull fuck her with your more than adequate man-meat, Chuddy.

thanks for sharing...

Jack M said...

Did anyone notice that when it introduces her, the text reads, "Pickets funerals of Soliders" instead of "Soldiers"?

I've been keeping tabs on these guys for years and always thought their propaganda was hilarious, but when I first read a month or so ago that they were picketing at soldiers' funerals, I was almost physically ill. In a world of metrosexuals, Soldiers are about the only men left.

Scooter said...

I disagree with your narrow definition of "men", sir. The human condition is so variant and diverse, that pigeonholing masculinity into such a thin spectrum of physical bravery and self sacrifice ignores acts of real men that are less spectacular.

The man who teaches his daughter how to bake has imparted wisdom and skill to his child, and that, sir, is not to be looked down upon.

Drunken Chud said...

scooter there's one flaw in your argument: you don't have to teach a girl to bake. that is inherent knowledge attached to the second X chromosome. in fact, all you need to do is place a better homes cookbook in front her, and make sure she understands the labels of the ingredients and at the tender age of two she can make you fluffy confectionary delights. it's true, i saw this thing on the discovery channel.

and no, teaching your daughter to bake is not more manly than getting stabbed by a bayonette, killing your oppenent and gutting him, so you can shred his intestines to use to stitch up your bayonette wound so you can keep on fighting the good fight. THAT is what a man does.

Scooter said...

He dies of septicemia?

Drunken Chud said...

real men have antibodies.

TheSpookiestHat said...

Fred is funny as hell but sacry as hell to. So is he gay for jesus?

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