28 February 2006

where did i go? and fuck burger king.

Sorry, i haven't posted in a while, and it was brought to my attention i needed to post more. i haven't really had much to post about. internet funny shit has had a bit of a lull and my life hasn't had any great adventures or drunken fits of genius. which of course i need to remedy.

so right now i have the worst headache ever (which i say whenever i get a headache), and it's pissing me off. much more so than the lazy ass sons of whores that work the burger king drive thru. i almost had an orgasm when i saw that not only did they bring back their value menu (which had been sorely lacking around these parts) but they also brought back the rodeo cheeseburger in it's barbecuey onion ringy goodness. though they upped the price by a quarter. so i order one. and i'm told in no uncertain terms don't have any rodeo cheeseburgers. i cry shenanigans cuz it's on the menu but my driver (that's what i call her) drove up to the window to get rev's order. piss on him, i wanted rodeo-y goodness. so i ask the chick at the window why they don't have the glorious rodeo cheeseburger... she replies that they happen to be out of onion rings. horse shit. those fucking grease slinging register jockeys were too goddamn lazy to make onion rings AND a whole burger. so, tomorrow i'm calling the king and having a sit down. i'm gettin me some free shit. this is inexcusable. if it's on your menu, it's gonna be in my belly when i ask for it, or else your ass is grass and i'm the lawnmower. how ya like me now you fucking crazy king plastic head thing that scores touchdowns!?!?

ok, time for bed. my buzz is gone and the headache is all consuming. kristin, buggy, this post is for you girls.

18 comments:

Scooter said...

Wow. I want a burger now.

Heidi said...

See all that happens to me at BK is that if I flirt with the guy he gives me extra chix tenders. Which makes my life complete.

Rolligun said...

Why do you have to post more?

Can't you just post when ever you want, just like ordering whatever you want at a drive though?

Kristin said...

From what I understand, an orgasm would help with the headache. Though, rodeo-y goodness might have helped as well.

Drunken Chud said...

hey scooter, if you go get a burger, can you drop a rodeo cheeseburger off at my house?

you know heidi, i should try. flirt with the dude and see if he'll give me free shit. oh.. wait... that doesn't work... heh.

well, since i am not able to order what i want at the drive through rolli, apparently i have to post more.

dammit kristin, now i want an orgasm AND a rodeo cheeseburger. that'd be combiing my two favorite things life. eating and orgasms. lol.

Laurie (aka buggy) said...

Good. Thank you for posting! We miss you when you don't.

Okay first, I have to say I am in awe of you when you say things like, "the rodeo cheeseburger in it's barbecuey onion ringy goodness." Also that you nearly orgasmed at the vision of the value menu. It obviously varies by state, because they never took it away in MD.
My beef with the King is that they took my chicken nugget value meal away to be replaced by those stupid chicken fries. Which aren't BAD - after like TWO OR THREE.
So now when I want my nugget meal I have to seperately order the nuggets, fries, and soda, thus making me have to talk to the order guy longer AND worse - making it more succeptable for there to be mistakes. The more order you have, the more likely they will be to mess it up.

I'd like to actually set up a PLANNED meeting with you, and the King, so that I may bring up my concerns and have a chart and graph and perhaps a Powerpoint demonstration for him. I mean if he can score touchdowns like you said, and I've also seen him hold his own in balancing on a log, then I think he can arrange to suit our needs.

joe said...

That fucking king. As much as I like his hyjinks and attempts to push people off girders many feet above ground as his victims drink the BK Joe coffee, I do have to say that his choice in servants is lacking. THey fuck up every order, and when they don't technically fuck up the order, the food is in less than desirable shape, as the bun is smashed, or the burger is half hanging out of the sandwich.

Then again, it could be due to this kind of shit.

joe said...

Oh, and if you want to see the King try to kill the iron worker, that video is here.

Drunken Chud said...

laurie... you're right. we need a sit down with the man. that is inexcusable that they have replaced your nuggets meal. and i personally would like a royal guarantee they will never take my rodeo cheeseburger away ever again. ever.

hehehe, joe, somehow i knew that video was going to make it in here. hehehehehehehehe. i remember the iron worker one. i think that was one of the first ones.

Scooter said...

You are an internet sensation!

DC Cookie said...

Rodeo burger is the only thing I'll eat from Burger King.

Steph said...

They should seriously send you shitloads of oniony goodness for the big free advertising you just gave them. ;)

Stepho said...

Rally's used to have a version of that burger before Rally's turned to shit. I think they're using squirrel meat now or something.

Chairborne Stranger said...

killer post, bro. lol

auburn said...

"your ass is grass and i'm the lawnmower"

Gold. I don't believe I've ever heard that phrase, but I'm going to be using it now in adoring memory of Chud.

I hate Burger King, maybe it's just shit in Oz though, i'm not bagging you!!

But i TOTALLY agree with the menu thing. If it's written there, YOU GOTTA HAVE IT! Or at least give me forewarning that you DON'T have it before I get my stomach set on it.

Scooter said...

Post something, dang it. Don't make me get Steph to fly all the way from Kangarooville and fill your truck's engine compartment with mustard!

Bobby said...

Auburn, its not just OZ. Burger King is shite, utter shit! However, I will try this rodeo burger only because the big fellah wont shut the fuck up about it. As far as BK service.. I've always had better service at white castle and anyone who likes white castles knows the closer you get to the center of the hood... The better the sliders are!

auburn said...

Oi!
Boy, get back here.
Did you get food poisoning at Burger King?