18 March 2006

Last night recap

Well, it would appear that the gods were against me. after getting a later start than i would have liked yesterday, and after getting a TON of free tacos, (mmm free taco friday) and after several gallons of green and non green beer (i told the waitress to surprise me, and keep em comin') i ended up leaving the bar at around 1:30. waaaay earlier than i had hoped. but, i couldn't see straight, or talk english, or stand. how i walked home i will never know. just to paint a picture, i left the bar with a full pitcher of beer i had absconded with. by the time i was halfway home 3/4 of the pitcher was gone and i hadn't taken a single drink from it. yes, friends, chud staggered home. it wasn't pretty. during my stumble however, i decided i should try to drunk dial. as soon as i pulled out ye olde cell phone, the fucker shut off. fuckin piece of shit. oh well, at least i had the computer at home and i could do some drogging. yaaay! get home, pick up the laptop and drop the stupid fucker on the floor thusly closing it and turning it off. my beer addled brain just couldn't seem to get the damn thing turned back on. but chud, why didn't you just use the desktop computer? you ask. i was too drunk to think about that and in fact just now realized it as an option. so i decided to make some pizza rolls and i actually managed to make them. however, i passed out with them on my lap and when i woke up my brother was home, my pizza rolls were gone and i was still hungry. damn the gods and their foiling of my best laid plans!

-so apparently after a full day of drinking girls want to kiss a fat guy in a leprechaun hat. i love alcohol.

-i think i had sex with alligator.

-drunken text messages are fun.


Kristin said...

Sex with alligator. Sounds interesting. Bite marks?

Drunken Chud said...

oh, it bit me. turned right around and got me.

Scooter said...

Dude, you do realize that you can't tell the sex of an alligator externally, right?

Are you sure you didn't have gay alligator sex? It's cool if you did; we all love you for who you are, like Mister Rogers, only with reptilian gay love.

Rev said...

strange coincidence, I think I had sex with Ali Larter last night..

Scooter had sex with Ali Baba...

Laurie (aka buggy) said...

Glad SOMEONE had fun. My fucking friends decided after our dinner (and nice bottle of Chianti) that they were TIRED AND TOO FULL TO GO OUT TO THE BARS.

I need either new friends or to grow up because I totally wanted a drunkfest.

Laurie (aka buggy) said...

i agree i love drunken text messaging.

i recently texted the entire theme to Golden Girls on MyBestGirlfriend's phone and that was when I was sober.

So u can just imagine..

Drunken Chud said...

you can too tell scooter. you put on gator pheremone if it makes that almost too low gutteral sound then you know it's a male. plus if it tried to bite your head too.

mmm... ali larter. something about her downs eyes just does it for me.

laurie, you need new friends. seriously. and i, totally sober, texted back and forth, line by line Tom Jones' "it's not unusual" with a friend.

Jobe said...

"i think i had sex with alligator."

Oh man, we've ALL been there.

(although in Australia it's crocodiles)

I once had sex with a bread roll in the shape of a crocodile. I THINK.