22 March 2006

Woops, got tagged again,

so i got tagged by auburn. and i'm just now getting around to doing this. sorry baby. i'll be more prompt next time.

How old were you when you lost your virginity? Who was it to? Describe the event.

Hrmm... 2 weeks after turning 16. oh yeah. she was some guy's girlfriend however she was in MY english class. it was great. she wasn't a virgin, i was, she knew what she was doing, and it was played well. after me losing some feeling in my cock due to errant teeth i lasted a phenomonal 45 minutes. well, 44 to be exact. 44 minutes till the feeling came back in my cock, then one minute thereafter. oh yeah!

What is the strangest place you've had sex?

i can't think of single place that is "strange" to have sex. funerals, nope. morgues... nope. hospitals, nope. feminist rallies, nope. i got nothin.

Who would you consider switching teams for?

sean connery, circa 1967. hands down. i'd suck that scott's cock like a goddamn blowpop back then. or something less gay...

Do you prefer to give or receive?

honestly, receive. i mean, i love licking box. i'm a huge fan of it. but if i had my choice of licking box and gettin head... yeah, i'd opt for the head every day of the week. what can i say, i like gettin mine as much as i like given her hers.

One night stands. What's the protocol…stay the night or get the hell outta there?

depends on the situation. i mean, if it's a solid booty call, you can stay. but if it's a true booty call, you gotsta get the fuck out. otherwise the next night she's going to be calling you boyfriend, and calling you like psycho.

Favourite body part/parts of the opposite sex?

ass, legs, the small of the back as it slopes to the ass... the belly as it firms to your touch... the nipples as they harden when your lips glide over them...

really, there's not much i don't love about the opposite sex.

Quickie or long and slow?

how can you favor one over the other? i mean each has their places in the sexual heirarchy. the passion of a quickie vs. the connection of a long and slow meeting of the groins. they both have their places, and they both have their pros and cons. i mean there, have been days where it's like 4 quickes in an hour. you get that look from the other and BOOM, there ya go. of course i've had those days where you don't feel like getting out of bed and just slow fucking all day. so... who cares. both i say!

Noisy or quiet?

NOISY NOISY NOISY NOISY NOISY NOISY NOISY!!!!! and that's all i have to say about that. i like em loud. i like makin' em loud.

Ideal amount of sex per week?

this is tangible? you can quantify this? i think not. my ideal amount? when my cock falls off or i can't feel it anymore.

What's your number one sexual turn off?

if they don't like fat guys... i'm out.

Number one arousal trigger?

a girl who likes fat guys. DUH!

What constitutes bad sex?

no sex.

Celebrity you would love to shag right now?

wait, there's a celebrity i shouldn't want to shag?

Define sexy?

me. enough said. though, i guess the female definition would be kristin. *winks to future wife*.

The best sex you ever had.

heh, wow, well, i can't name names since she has found this blog, and well, i haven't seen her in like 6 years... ish. but anyhow, her name was k**** and wow. oh wait, i wasn't gonna name names. meh, when have i been a man of my word. basically we had sex for the pure enjoyment. we were both very passionate people and that was what the sex was. no love. no emotion. just passion for sex. i mean, it was just pure human to human intimate contact. without asking we knew what buttons to push. it was pure, and we were good at what we did. it was just sex, and great sex at that. i once made her stand while i went down on her. i held her hands behind her back while i knelt and did what i wanted to do. she kept protesting as the climax grew... but i wouldn't relent. period... best pussy i've ever tasted. best girl i've slept with. hands down. wow...

ok then. good trip down memory lane...

Oh, the tagging...


[04:10] Serena: ethiopian food is supposed to be sooo good
[04:10] Serena: we will have to try it
[04:11] FindlayTex: you know, i have heard that about ethiopian.
[04:11] FindlayTex: but i laugh and imagine going to a place, only be starved and put up for adoption by sally struthers.
[04:12] Serena: odd to think of delicious food coming out of a totally overly impovershed country
[04:12] Serena: you get glasses of muddy unfiltered water.
[04:12] Serena: grubs and sticks.....lol
[04:12] FindlayTex: lol
[04:13] FindlayTex: and a train that constantly runs through it.
[04:13] Serena: lol


Drunken Chud said...

i'm drunkenly commenting on my own blog. w00t!

auburn said...

Yay! Thanks for fulfilling the tag.

A morgue would be pretty strange. Imagine pumping away on that big cold gurney...


Jobe said...


Ethiopian food is the best, hands down. I'm a bit of a gourmet but Ethiopian is still one of my favourites. It sucks because there isn't anywhere in Sydney that has Ethiopian food. But if you can find it, get it!

Scooter said...

Ha. Kosovar cuisine. Instead of music, you listen to random sniper shots in the distance whille you try to heat up a piece of imitation spam past its expiry date with a sterno can...

Laurie (aka buggy) said...

ALL this time i escaped that damn sex tag.
I had a feeling when i scrolled down it would be you Chuddy!!

what if i was already on base?

Drunken Chud said...

ok, i made no sense in some of my comments. i blame it on drunken memeing... yet somehow i managed to manually tag all the bold and italics. more importantly, remembered to close the tags. damn. w00t!

you know aubs... i never thought of the cold. that could get a wee bit uncomfortable.

jobe i have to say you're probably the Nth person to have said that. and i plan on trying it, there are a bunch of ethiopian places around here, i just... i dunno, it strikes me as funny. kinda like having a "sudanese sensitivity trainer".

scooter, i'm giggling like a little girl at that. just picturing that dining experience. occaisionally someone coming around and yelling shit at you. heh.

laurie... yeah you got it. w00t! no fill us in on style lady sex... hehehehehe.

Scooter said...


Kristin said...

Good info. I'll keep it in mind. You know, for the wedding night.

And what? Me? Sexy? You're so sweet.

Kayla said...

I about passed out at the standing up bit... Oh Chud.. Chud... Chud...

Kristin is my girl and she is dead sexy... Chud, you gots to come to DC!!

Steph said...

Yay for the sex meme! Keep it going people! Laurie, i'm gonna stalk ya till you do it!!

Stepho said...

My mom reads my blog, so I'm not going to do your sex dealey. I'm sorry. Everyone will just have to imagine that I'm a tiger in bed, and that's all there is to it.