01 April 2006

Cinco De Mayo?????

For the last few evenings I have seen a poorly made and, extremely hilarious commercial for a local municipality. This commercial is for, you guessed it: Cinco de Mayo! It’s just now April... and they're running a commercial for Cinco de Mayo. You don't even get that kind of dedication to St. Pat's. Now, the funniest part is the small as shit (2 miles wide by about 6 miles long), and pretty much a 50/50 split between black and white trash township that's having the "cinco de mayo fiesta". Yes kids, I’m talking about Redford. Redford is our Detroit buffer. It’s not as shitty as Detroit, but it's not as nice as the rest of the area. The thing is, I don't think there's a Mexican contingent in Redford at all. sure, there's the golf courses, so of course there's laborers, but I don't think that qualifies as a large enough contingent to have a Cinco de Mayo 2 day event. As far as I know, there aren't even any Mexican restaurants in Redford. So, while all of these thoughts were flying through my head I continued watching the commercial. There is a great graphic you can hardly see of the band "Monumental Mariachi Cora! With smarmy looking men around a man who could quite possibly be the Alcalde. That gives way to a graphic for the band "Caporales de la Sierra!”, then they say something about Mexican food and there are two Mexicans standing in what looks a funnel cake booth. Next is some cut away shots of fat white kids followed by some shots of little black and white kids (I am pausing the tivo to try to find Mexicans right now since it came on again whilst I was typing this). Oooh a shot of a tall Mexican and some shitty "fair" sombreros and more fat white people in biker jackets. And that's pretty much the whole commercial. HOWEVER! During this whole thing, as I am staring with my mouth agape, there is an announcer giving normal commercial commentary on everything. The announcer is the best part. The coup de grĂ¢ce. It’s basically a white dude, holding his nose, doing the absolute WORST Speedy Gonzalez impersonation evar! I keep replaying this piece of trash and laughing my ass off. I absolutely have to go to this atrocity. I will have big wet burritos, and wear sombrero's and drink mucho dos equis and tequila while the real Mexicans that were bused in as entertainment look on in horror as a fat white man with an eye patch (of course I’ll have the pirate eye patch on) bastardizes their culture. I will say (see: drunkenly yell) things like "Mas cervesas por favor!!!!!" and yell sing/fake the words to "la bamba". But then, I’m a cad and this celebration has about as much to do with Mexican independence as it does the war over Toledo. VIVA LA REVOLUCION!
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i don't know what to say to this:

[04:55] Ndaydream69: hi, 19/f bi curious and 26/m findlay, ohio, bored wana chat maybe meet up sometime
[04:56] FindlayTex: can i bring a friend?
[04:56] Ndaydream69: sure
[04:56] FindlayTex: she's fat.
[04:57] Ndaydream69: maybe just have you at first though if that is ok?
[04:57] FindlayTex: i'm fat.
[04:58] Ndaydream69: lol, funnny, not into games bye
[04:58] FindlayTex: bye
[04:58] FindlayTex: but i really am fat.
[04:59] Ndaydream69: you bi curious?
[04:59] FindlayTex: not even a little bit.
[05:00] FindlayTex: sorry.
[05:01] Ndaydream69: cool
--------

and now some linkies:

Hehehehe. the squirrel shows the deer how he rolls.

i think the point of doing a backflip into a pool is more "out" than "up". woops.

worst. wrestler. evar.

i have never been so bored that i thought wrapping a ceiling fan in barbed wire and then hopping up into sounded like fun. this guy has.

this guy is my circle puking hero.

18 comments:

Rev said...

The Compound is dead (perhaps only temporarily)

but the bloggy goodness lives on

compoundglory.blogspot.com

Drunken Chud said...

does that mean the email addresses are done too?

Drunken Chud said...

just checked, and yeah, no email. yaaay. well, just fixed my email on here. w00t.

Stepho said...

My favorite part of la bamba:
Yo no soy marinera! Yo no soy marinera, soy capitan, soy capitan, soy capitan.

Literally: I am not a sailor! I am a captain, I am a captain, I am a captain.

Damn straight.

Laurie (aka buggy) said...

You should've mentioned the eye patch in the IM too!!

:P

"do you like pirates?"

somethin!

Drunken Chud said...

i never knew that stepho! you need to translate the entire song for me. cuz that's some funny shit.

laurie... how did i not come up with that!? damn woman where are you when i need you?

Scooter said...

La Bamba - Richie Valens
Para bailar la bamba
Para bailar la bamba

(In order to dance the bamba...)

Se necesita una poca de gracia
a Una poca de gracia para mi para ti
ya Arriba y arriba
ay arriba y arriba

(A little grace is needed, a little grace is needed for me and you from up above, from up above)

por ti sere
Por ti sere
Por ti sere

(by you serene
by you serene
by you serene)

Yo no soy marinero
Yo no soy marinero
Soy capitana
Soy capitana
Soy capitana

( I am not a sailor!
I am not a sailor!
I am a captain
I am a captain
I am a captain)

Bamba la bamba
Bamba la bamba
Bamba la bamba

(Bamba, the bamba...)

Para bailar la bamba
Para bailar la bamba
Se necesito una poca de gracia
a Una poca de gracia para mi para ti
ya Arriba y arriba

(In order to dance the bamba, In order to dance the bamba, a little grace is needed for me and you from up above, from up above)

Para bailar la bamba
Para bailar la bamba
Se necesito una poca de gracia
a Una poca de gracia para mi para ti
ya Arriba y arriba
ay arriba y arriba por ti sere
Por ti sere
Bamba la bamba
Bamba la bamba
Bamba la bamba

(well, you know it already, and my high scool Spanish is running thin...)

Laurie (aka buggy) said...

I was off drinking somewhere Chuddy.

I am always there in spirit.

p.s. - although it seems scooter may've been a tad bored when posting that tribute to La Bamba, I must say - I enjoyed it.

hobbitluvr said...

there is a mexican restaurant in redford. that's gotta count for something. i'll go though....the big pirate and the small irish chick at a redford cinco de mayo party. oh!! we should go dressed as white trash!!! that would be twice as funny!!!!

Stickler said...

Awsome chat! Next time you should throw in "I am Batman" at the end.

Drunken Chud said...

scooter... how can that be? it's like they're saying 5 things to say two... sheesh.

ahhh... buggy spirit. what's thi... what the... someone is trying to download fiona on my compute... stop that!

serena... yes dear, we must. we must indeed. we can put white trash bags on ourselves. or something.

dammit. i should have stickler... what the shit was i thinking. apparently i wasn't.

Laurie (aka buggy) said...

HAHAHAHHAHAA!!!

yes!! 88% finished....

15 more seconds before "O, Sailor" is completed!!

Drunken Chud said...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Laurie (aka buggy) said...

File transferred.

:)

Drunken Chud said...

it just keeps playing! i can't find it on the hard drive at all! ahhhhhh!

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