25 September 2005

Oh no, not a survey

So a buddy sent me a color quiz/personality test. always looking for something for content, i took it. i didn't let me down:

Chud's Existing Situation
Works well in cooperation with others but is disinclined to take the leading role. Needs a personal life of mutual understanding and freedom from discord.

riiiiiiight. i thrive on a personal life of mutual disdain and discord. i love to lead so that i may impose my views on others. i do not work well in co-op with others. others piss me off.

Chud's Stress Sources
Sensitive and impressionable, prone to absorbing enthusiasms. Seeks an idealized--but so far unfulfilled--situation in which he can share with another a complete accord and mutual depth of understanding. Feels there is a risk of being exploited if he is too ready to trust others and therefore demands proof of their sincerity. Needs to know exactly where he stands in relationships.

sensitive and impressionable? bah. prone to blah blah blah. however, i do have an unfulfilled desire to share with another a complete accord... who the fuck am i kidding? the dumber the girl the better. risk of being exploited? meh, i'll go with it. proof of sincerity? what the fuck? cut off your foot to prove you're sincere! and for the record, i prefer not to know where i stand in a relationship. i mean, i like surprises. besides, if i don't know where i stand, when i sleep with her sister, i can say, "honey, i didn't know where i stood.

Chud's Restrained Characteristics
Circumstances are forcing him to compromise, to restrain his demands and hopes, and to forgo for the time being some of the things he wants.

ok, for the first one, yeah, they're called grandparents. but seriously, is there one person in the human race who can say that this statement isn't true for them in some way?

Feels trapped in a distressing or uncomfortable situation and seeking some way of gaining relief. Able to achieve satisfaction from sexual activity.

wow... how... vague. and yes, i know i can achieve satisfaction from sexual activity. if i couldn't i wouldn't jerk off so much.

Feels that he cannot do much about his existing problems and difficulties and that he must make the best of things as they are. Able to achieve satisfaction from sexual activity.

ok, i know i can do things about my present situation. i choose not to. it's called laziness. apparently there is no lazy color. and why the fuck is my ability to achieve climax brought up twice? this is weighing heavy on me. i mean, before this test, was i only fooling myself into thinking i was satisfied from sex? hoy shit, time to re-examine my life...

Chud's Desired Objective
Needs a way of escape from all that oppresses him and is clinging to vague and illusory hopes.

or to escape from these vague boiler plate statements easily applied to all males.

Chud's Actual Problem
Intensely critical of the existing conditions which he feels are disorganized or insufficiently clear-cut. Is therefore seeking some solution which will clarify the situation and introduce a more acceptable degree of order and method.

yep, it's called sitting tight till a pile of money or a house falls in my lap. or till one of my friends gets rich and i can become a hanger on.

Chud's Actual Problem #2
Feels restricted and prevented from progressing; seeking a solution which will remove these limitations.

wow... profound again. ok, i'm through with this thing. if you want to take this vague thing, here ya go. but be warned, the answers are eerily vague...

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