funny reading to pass the time.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll fuck you with a rake. and other gems submitted from chats. for example:

<.tumult> well that was like the coolest class period i've ever had
<.lasombra> tumult ?
<.tumult> this kid asks me for a dollar so he can get something from a vending machine
<.tumult> i tell him i don't have one (truth)
<.tumult> he says bullshit
<.tumult> i tell him to fuck off
<.tumult> he stands up and punches me in the face three times
<.tumult> sits back down
<.tumult> teacher doesn't notice/care
<.tumult> so blood is pouring out onto my desk
<.tumult> from my lip
<.tumult> i turn to the girl next to me and say
<.tumult> "hey, can i use one of the tissues jammed into your bra?"
<.zyko^> what did she do?
<.tumult> punched me in the face
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<.Deffy> Christ is so cool. He's born, I get presents. He dies, I get candy.
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<.JB> When I was a kid, you could just admire a naked woman. She didn't have to be defecating.
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(@[e]space) going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion
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<.Crowbar> yah, if you cut the ass while shaving, you might as well just stick your fingers in and rip it wide open. at least that way you can claim you were raped
<.Crowbar> oh man, i just woke up my wife from laughing
<.Knower|> what's wrong honey? Oh, haha, just giving the guys some advice on anal tearing. oh, alright...just keep it down. wait, WHAT?!?!
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(placid|work) i knew a girl that was fat just because of her asthma medication
(@Rayn) what was she taking for asthma ... cheeseburgers?
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<+aeonite> is there any diet plan that does not involve fucking cottage cheese?
<@LordCrank> some of them involve eating it instead